Despite lockdown having been eased we have a lot of restrictions in place at the moment to keep us all safe; keeping 2m apart, avoiding unnecessary travel, keeping close contact to households only.
These restrictions are important to keep us all healthy but it’s also, unfortunately, meant that many people have been left alone or lonely during the lockdown. Many people, including myself, have been turning to virtual dating. There are more than 1,500 dating apps or websites out there, like matchmehappy.co.uk, so why not sign up and give it a go?
For people who enjoyed casual relationships before lockdown, the coronavirus outbreak has meant being cut off from potential meetups and a lack of social life which has impacted them physically and emotionally. I have heard that unsurprisingly a lack of sex and intimacy has led to an increase in sexts and nudes as well as a boon for the sex toy industry.
Some countries have shown more open-mindedness to the situation; I have seen official guidance from the Dutch National Institute for Public Health and the Environment (RIVM) suggests people without a permanent sexual partner come to mutually satisfactory agreements with like-minded individuals.
With online dating site Match recently having reported that users are now spending an average of seven hours a week dating online, it looks like social distancing hasn’t done much to dampen people’s desire to meet and connect during this time, with our need for human interaction is even greater at this time even if it is virtual.
I was lucky enough to find someone to spend virtual time with during lockdown; we met via a dating app back in April and talked every day during the total lockdown. We mostly chatted about our days (as boring as they may have been) and watched movies together via Netflix Party. It was nice to get to know him before having the pressures of meeting in person. When lockdown started to relax we were able to meet up in person and continue to see each other weekly.
My friend K has been messaging back and forth with a man she met on a dating app with the hope of meeting him at some point once the lockdown has been lifted. She says “if it doesn’t work the disappointment will be bigger because we have been texting for so long.” she went on to say, “I think we will get used to talking for much longer before we meet”.
Experts out there are saying that rather than just texting for weeks you should get on a voice call as soon as you can; if you can build up a rapport on the phone it will make it so much easier when you eventually meet them face to face and you will be less nervous. I started sending Whatsapp voice notes to the guy I was virtually seeing which lead to phone calls and then video calls when I was feeling braver!
K raises an interesting point, whereas before lockdown you might chat with a guy for a few days before arranging a meet up in person right now all we can really do is message and with lots of guys stating ‘not looking for a penpal’ does this mean it will be less likely to find someone during this time?
N is in a relationship currently but spent time in the world of dating apps before finding her current boyfriend. She agrees with K and says “I think there will be more pressure as you’ll already know so much about someone and be invested before you’ve even met [this] might set yourself up for failure, or if you want to be romantic about it, allows you to get to know someone outside of the physical and become more emotionally connected” but she goes onto say “but even I don’t believe that!”
My friend E put together a lockdown metaphor for the situation: “Well, it’s like ordering alcohol on amazon right now. You resort to a brand you’re unfamiliar with on account of limited funds and availability, then have to wait 3 weeks for delivery; you live in hope”. E went on to say “When you finally sample it, it could be adequate… or it might kill your frontal lobe and half your taste buds, plus krank your depression up a notch.”
When talking to my female friends, a pattern emerged with their answers in regards to how Coronavirus has changed dating. They all suggested that simply put, as all guys are looking for sex, it’s just a scale of how much conversion they’re willing to sit through before deciding to take the risk of having a masked-up date.
To conclude this look at dating in a time of coronavirus, it looks like if you do want to find someone for a hook up on a free dating site then times might be hard but if you’re looking more for a relationship then this time apart might be a great opportunity to get to know the other person before meeting up once this is all over. It certainly worked out for me!
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